Joyful Warrior Journal

Spirit Matters | Putting the "Spark" Back in My Story... and my Body!


In front of our eyes, are frozen forms. Forms of people, forms of trees, forms of animals, forms of thoughts in the way of words. All are frozen, captured if you will in "this" moment. By the time we see something, we are seeing an effect of that which has moved through the form. And it is already on its way to becoming something else.

Take for example, a flower. In the moment you "see" it, it is a flower. But it once was a seed, then a sprout, it is a flower in this "frozen" moment and it is on its way to being potpourri, or an essential oil, perhaps. But what is it you are actually seeing? If you see with your eyes, only. It will be a beautiful moment of observation and perhaps you will experience the smell and texture as well - but there will be no true connection. No union of beingness. You will not merge or communicate or really come to "know" the flower. You will only think you do.

You will think you know what it is, just like you think you know someone you have met a few times. Because you have a concept of what a flower is, in your mind. It is already categorized and therefore its true essence is lost to you. Why? Because once you think you know something, you stop listening... you stop perceiving. You see it and the same time, don't really see it - perceive it - at all. To connect with a form, you must go beyond what you can see with your eyes to what you perceive - or sense with your whole being and specifically with your heart. To be a Shaman, is to see with the heart. Not idealistically, but literally. It is a full-body receiving and a full-body communicating so that you come to draw in and taste the essence - the force standing behind - all things. And this way come to see not just the surface but the essence of a form. And it, at the same time, is able to perceive you perceiving - it. This is how a shaman walks in the world of spirit, and form. There is, no difference.

There is a force moving behind all of form. Just like with the flower, there is the pollen and the pedals and the stem... and there is the force which causes it to rise up from the seed of its potentiality into its fragrant fruition.

The force that stands behind form is not frozen. It is alive and sentient and often conscious of its own being - able to respond to heart-felt communication. This is the way of things with simple structure such as molecules of water and also with more complex structure such as plants, animals and humans. ​​

​When we understand that there is a Spiritual Being, a conscious force behind all of life's variety and kaleidoscope of forms, life can get pretty exciting and every moment becomes an adventure in perceiving beyond that which we can merely "see."

There are many implications to this new "Consciousness Reality" we are all experiencing based in how we are relating to that which we can see, and that which we can communicate with through sensing and feeling. It opens up a world of possibilities, that which I call the "Shaman's Territory."

It also, in a very practical sense, is able to help us come to understand that the form that we are in the most intimate relationship with - our own body - is responding to the force behind its form too. Namely our thoughts, our feelings and primarily our Will to live life fully (or not...let me tell-you)! When we look at the health, strength, and grace of the form of our own human form, we are seeing the story that stands behind our form. We are the sentient force that stands behind our own form. We are the spiritual being. Each of our experiences leave their "impression". We see the vibrancy - or the toxicity - in which we are living. If our Spirit is looking for a way out, either because we are in a painful life situation or we have somehow been become dis-spirited - the body will begin creating exit strategies. The form will lose its vitality, create protective "survival" patterns of rigidity and protecting. These patterns show up as lack of mobility, compensation patterns that mis-shape the posture and gate, acute pain in the body, weakness leading to injury and... excess weight gain. Dis-ease and illness take form on the energetic level well before the physical. So it makes sense that healing begins on an energetic level first, as well.

The body is loyal, to "our story." In order to truly come into health, and harmony, it is not enough to just to go a gym, the bike trail or yoga class and "work out." True transformation happens from the inside, out. There was a time in my life, where the Spirit had left me. I was as wandering, seeking to somehow be rescued by something that would "fix" me. I went through all manner of experiences trying to find, Happy. It wasn't until I found the "Soul In My Story", once lost to me, that I was able to transform, naturally. In these pictures that I am posting, you will see a difference in my "body."

You will also see a difference in my physical affect so that it is clear I am the same person and then again... I'm not. Look closely in the picture of me and baby Sierra. The first shot is taken when she is almost 2 years old. The second, when she is 4. What happened in this two year stretch of time? Look closely in the eyes. In the first picture, I am not really "home" inside. I am pretending. In the second picture, notice the "spark" in the eyes. My Essence has been returned here and you can feel the vibrancy and consciousness of by beingness. This is six months after my soul was returned to me and my spirit could once again be free and accessible to me.

My own journey has been one of deep healing and "wooing" my Spirit back into my body fully. Embodiment is a new term people like to talk about. What does it mean? Being "spiritual" is not about taking some sort of 'trip' outside of your body with 'medicine' or anything else. It is about drawing your soul back into your current "place of power." You can't be in the Present if your soul is stuck somewhere else. We are not Frozen forms, we are constantly changing and evolving. Sometimes, our thoughts get stuck in one place... and our stories get stuck in the identity that this creates.

Perhaps it is time to put the "spark" back into your story... and discover how it feels to move through life as a free spiritual being expressing its unique beauty and value.


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